But I cannot help but glance his way every few seconds. Is he dead? (no...I can see his chest heaving under his double-breasted suit jacket) Is he blind? (no... he is holding "No Exit"by Satre...). Well that narrows it down... he doesn't have a chaperone, so he mustn't be harmful. Yet.
Why am I writing this?
Because if I go missing tonight and end up cut up into small bite-size chunks while some lunatic wears his brand new "Lindsey skin-suit", at least we will all be able to sleep a bit better at night knowing that I saw this coming.
I have started to make the trek out to my new favourite coffee shop (it's a Starbucks... SURPRISE! I know, I am so very unoriginal...) every week or so to work on my "career" (which somehow involves me writing in this blog about some young man gawking at me...). I have decided to trek out into the urban wilderness because I have found that the more time I spend sitting at home at my computer, the more time I spend watching ridiculous videos on youtube ("Cats with thumbs?" YES PLEASE! "Cats talking to each other"? OF COURSE!! "How to massage your cat"? WEIRD, BUT OKAY!), drinking copious amounts of wine, and attempting to make my cats have thumbs. And talk to each other. But NOT massaging them (What do you take me for, some kind of weirdo?!?) Do you see me being a huge rock star after doing that on a regular basis? (I guess I do, but my only fans would be my cats and the only songs I would write would consist of me screaming at my fridge until hoarse...)
So here I am, taking that first step to the first day of the rest of my life.
And he is still staring! STOP IT!!!
Sorry. Back to the task at hand...
I have even armed my ADD self with a to-do list while I am at said Starbucks. 1) Drink coffee (check!) 2) Get money to record my album (or should I say FINISH recording my album...) working on that. 3) Drink more coffee (check!) 4) Begin writing my memoirs (you never know when a booking agent will ask for them...) 5) Drink more coffee (check!) 6) Leave, feeling accomplished (check- wait, I didn't get anything done except this friggin blog!)
Maybe the to-do list was a little over-zealous.
I will just continue to sit and type.
And try to not let this weirdo peer into my soul. But my God he is close.
HE IS ALSO READING ABOUT EXISTENTIALISM. Shit.
On a side note, SUMMER IS GOING TO BE HERE AND THAT MEANS I CAN YELL ABOUT IT IN MY BLOG!!!!
And I must admit, like most sane people, I love summer.
I bet "stare-y McHannibal/Twitchell - wannabe" has the burning hatred for summer that would heat a thousand white-hot suns. Eek.
Now I don't love summer just for the dresses, large hats, hot dogs, and stray cats I will find, but also for the blessing that my new day-job provides:
Being located beside a Fire Station.
Now, I never fully understood why women had such an unrequited love for firemen (here's a childhood memory... every week my mother would make some sort of baking for the firefighters and we would walk over and give them the baking... my mother always told me it was to thank them for "the service" they provided the community. Now I fully understand that that "service" was to carry large hoses and smile at my mother when she walked by everyday...) I am now learning how EVERY SINGLE PERSON can be attracted to them. My new life goal (and now the only thing on my bucket list) is to (I have to get the timing down for this...) but I will run out into the street when they pull their fire engine out to respond to a call and they will hit me with their vehicle.
Yep, I went there.
Now, I will begin extensive training to make sure I won't die, but I will strive to be unconscious for at least a few minutes and stop breathing so that one of them (they would be the first responders...) would have to give me mouth to mouth.
Yep, I went there too.
Then I'll have amnesia.
And they all can nurse me back to health.
My life dream.
Now, why am I here at Starbucks again? Never mind. I will just pretend to be talking on the phone with my husband the firefighter who is very overprotective and if anyone ever laid a hand on me he would hunt them down and give them a stern talking to because he is a lover not a fighter (I guess I got a bit carried away there for a moment...) so that Dr. Creepshow over there will stop planning to eat my brains with a nice Shiraz (just to spice it up).
I take all of that back.
His mega-hot girlfriend just walked in. WHAT, AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!?! I WAS PLAYING HARD TO GET!
Jerk. I bet he is also bad in bed.
Yep. Sadly, I went there.
Now that I am all worked up, I should grab another coffee, and watch a few more cat videos on youtube.
Until next time I am hopped up on 4 cups of coffee,
That girl at the Starbucks who isn't doing any work and thinks the guy with the lazy eye is going to kill her.
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